WEBVTT 1 00:00:05.360 --> 00:00:08.840 Welcome to Parent Data by Emily Oster. I'm Emily, and 2 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:11.440 today I'm thrilled to share the audio from an event 3 00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:13.600 we held earlier this month to mark the ten year 4 00:00:13.640 --> 00:00:17.200 anniversary of my first book, Expecting Better. It was hosted 5 00:00:17.200 --> 00:00:20.439 by the Vagina Whisperer herself, Sarah Rden, and we were 6 00:00:20.520 --> 00:00:22.840 joined by a very special guest, the one and only 7 00:00:22.920 --> 00:00:25.560 Amy Schumer, who helped put the book on the map, 8 00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:28.080 and we announced my new book, which is coming out 9 00:00:28.120 --> 00:00:30.520 next spring. It was an amazing evening and I hope 10 00:00:30.520 --> 00:00:32.120 you will enjoy listening to it as much as we 11 00:00:32.200 --> 00:00:33.000 enjoyed hosting it. 12 00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:35.080 Here's Sarah to start us off. 13 00:00:37.720 --> 00:00:41.680 Good evening, everyone, Thank you so much for joining us today. 14 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:45.120 I am so excited to be joining you as the 15 00:00:45.159 --> 00:00:48.720 host for this event to celebrate Emily Oster in ten 16 00:00:48.800 --> 00:00:51.800 years of her book Expecting Better. We are going to 17 00:00:51.800 --> 00:00:55.279 be talking tonight about how to move conversations and our 18 00:00:55.360 --> 00:00:59.160 culture forward when we talk about what to expect during pregnancy. 19 00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:04.560 To introduce myself, I'm Sarah Reardan, a pelvic floor physical therapist, 20 00:01:04.640 --> 00:01:07.679 and I'm also known on Instagram as the Vagina Whisperer, 21 00:01:08.160 --> 00:01:11.880 where I created a space to have pelvic floor conversations, 22 00:01:12.360 --> 00:01:17.440 and I often do it in a vulvasuit, so to 23 00:01:18.120 --> 00:01:21.559 get started. I also am curious as to how many 24 00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:23.920 of you all have read Expecting Better. I know a 25 00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:26.320 lot of folks here are pregnant and have a baby 26 00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:29.080 on the way, so if you haven't yet checked into 27 00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:34.279 the poll, please do so. So over eighty two percent 28 00:01:34.319 --> 00:01:37.080 of y'all, so lots of you have read the book. 29 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:39.800 I remember reading this book when I was pregnant with 30 00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:43.120 my son over eight years ago, and one of the 31 00:01:43.160 --> 00:01:47.119 biggest takeaways was I remember feeling very grateful. I felt 32 00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:49.960 like I had a guide during my pregnancy that made 33 00:01:50.040 --> 00:01:53.440 me feel less of a porcelain doll and more of 34 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:56.520 an empowered and informed mom to be. And I am 35 00:01:56.560 --> 00:01:58.840 so grateful that Emily has put so much into this 36 00:01:58.920 --> 00:02:01.000 resource that I think has held so many of us 37 00:02:01.080 --> 00:02:05.160 during that pregnancy period. We have thousands of people who 38 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:08.760 registered and are here for this event tonight, and folks 39 00:02:08.800 --> 00:02:11.400 are still coming in so as we're waiting for them 40 00:02:11.480 --> 00:02:13.640 to join us, I'd love to do another poll so 41 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.600 we can get to know who is here in the 42 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:19.440 community tonight, So all of you here, I would love 43 00:02:19.480 --> 00:02:23.520 to know who is pregnant or trying to conceive, and 44 00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:25.720 I'll wait a second for that to come on in. 45 00:02:27.919 --> 00:02:31.320 As we wait for those results, I am going to 46 00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:34.720 talk a little bit about what you can expect for tonight. 47 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:39.080 Oh look at that fifty almost fifty percent of y'all 48 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:42.680 are currently pregnant. I love this. So this is going 49 00:02:42.720 --> 00:02:45.040 to be such a special opportunity for us to get 50 00:02:45.040 --> 00:02:48.520 to chat with Emily about why she created this book 51 00:02:48.560 --> 00:02:51.480 so long ago and just learn more about her process 52 00:02:51.480 --> 00:02:54.040 in writing it. So tonight's going to be really special 53 00:02:54.080 --> 00:02:56.680 for a number of reasons. First, we're going to get 54 00:02:56.720 --> 00:03:01.720 to hear from Emily about why this moment means a 55 00:03:01.760 --> 00:03:05.399 lot to her ten years later of expecting better. Then 56 00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:07.560 Amy Schumer is going to join us to have a 57 00:03:07.600 --> 00:03:11.280 conversation with Emily to talk about pregnancy and why these 58 00:03:11.320 --> 00:03:13.959 conversations are so important. And you're going to want to 59 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:16.280 make sure you stay until the very end because Emily 60 00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:18.400 has a really big announcement that you're not going to 61 00:03:18.440 --> 00:03:20.800 want to miss, So don't tune off early. You're going 62 00:03:20.840 --> 00:03:22.440 to want to stay till the very end to hear that. 63 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:25.120 And finally, some of you in this community are going 64 00:03:25.160 --> 00:03:27.880 to get to ask your pregnancy questions live to Emily. 65 00:03:28.280 --> 00:03:29.919 So at the end of this you're going to get 66 00:03:29.919 --> 00:03:31.800 to ask your questions and you won't want to miss that. 67 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:35.000 Make sure to stick around to the end. And before 68 00:03:35.160 --> 00:03:37.800 I go any further, I think it's time to bring 69 00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:39.960 on our guest of the evening, Emily Aster. 70 00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:46.760 Yeah, I Amie. 71 00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:51.160 I am so grateful for you to be here. And 72 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:53.840 I also just want to say before we get started, 73 00:03:54.880 --> 00:03:58.160 I'm a little overwhelmed and a little nervous, but also 74 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:01.240 just incredibly grateful to everybody. 75 00:04:00.800 --> 00:04:04.360 For coming to this and for all the things that 76 00:04:04.440 --> 00:04:04.960 came before. 77 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:07.560 I'm grateful to you guys for reading the book and 78 00:04:07.600 --> 00:04:10.080 for sharing the book, and for telling me what you 79 00:04:10.200 --> 00:04:12.920 liked and telling me what you didn't like, and all 80 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:17.400 of those pieces like this community, this experience. It really 81 00:04:17.480 --> 00:04:20.279 changed my life and I feel like now I'm doing 82 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:21.840 the thing I'm supposed to do and. 83 00:04:21.760 --> 00:04:25.000 It's I don't know, it's just I'm just really grateful. 84 00:04:25.080 --> 00:04:30.039 So so thank you, thank you, And let's talk about vaginas. 85 00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:33.080 Let's do our favorite topic, our favorite topic. 86 00:04:33.200 --> 00:04:35.559 We love it. I'm sorry you're not wearing the suit. 87 00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:38.560 Where's this? So? 88 00:04:38.640 --> 00:04:38.760 Well? 89 00:04:38.839 --> 00:04:41.320 Let this night is about you. So let's talk about 90 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:43.840 expecting better and just take us back. What made you 91 00:04:43.920 --> 00:04:46.040 a decade ago decide to write this book. 92 00:04:47.320 --> 00:04:50.120 So I'll tell you the short answer that I often 93 00:04:50.160 --> 00:04:52.719 give people, which is true, which is I got pregnant 94 00:04:53.080 --> 00:04:56.120 and I had the experience that I think it turns 95 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:57.920 out many people had, which is I was given a 96 00:04:57.960 --> 00:04:58.720 set of instructions. 97 00:04:58.760 --> 00:05:00.760 I was given like a little piece a paper, list 98 00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:03.840 of rules. I was given a lot of one size 99 00:05:03.880 --> 00:05:07.080 fits all advice, and it wasn't working for me. 100 00:05:07.400 --> 00:05:10.200 And my training is as an economist, is in data, 101 00:05:10.960 --> 00:05:14.320 and I started using that data in the service of 102 00:05:14.360 --> 00:05:17.040 my own of my own pregnancy and spending a lot 103 00:05:17.080 --> 00:05:19.320 of time in the medical literature trying to figure out 104 00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:22.520 the answers to these questions. And so that's really an 105 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:25.120 answer to why I did the research that informed the book, 106 00:05:25.320 --> 00:05:28.640 essentially not totally an answer to why I wrote the book, 107 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:32.640 because there is a long way between like messing around 108 00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:36.680 with messing around with spreadsheets on your computer and like 109 00:05:36.880 --> 00:05:41.839 actually writing a book. And in some ways the answer 110 00:05:41.880 --> 00:05:43.599 to why I turned this into a book is just 111 00:05:43.640 --> 00:05:46.160 that I felt like I had to, Like I just 112 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:49.120 it's like it had to come out like when you're 113 00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:52.120 motion sick or something like. I just I felt that 114 00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:55.240 so frustrated and overwhelmed by this. It was just like, 115 00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:57.599 I have to put this out because it can't be 116 00:05:57.640 --> 00:05:59.080 that I'm the only one like this. I can't be 117 00:05:59.080 --> 00:06:01.960 the only person who doesn't think this is the way 118 00:06:01.960 --> 00:06:04.839 this should go. And the book sort of flowed really 119 00:06:04.880 --> 00:06:11.320 from that feeling of like, nah, I have to do it, which, yeah, 120 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:13.040 so that's the answer, That's why I did it. 121 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:15.560 Motion sickness a form of motion sickness. 122 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:18.600 Well, we are grateful for it, because, as you can see, 123 00:06:18.640 --> 00:06:22.640 I mean, tens and thousands and so many other expecting 124 00:06:22.640 --> 00:06:25.080 moms have read this. And I think that the fact 125 00:06:25.120 --> 00:06:27.600 that ten years later this book is still so relevant 126 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:30.520 and so popular just says so much about how much 127 00:06:30.600 --> 00:06:33.080 we need this information and we continue to need it. 128 00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:36.440 That you're still moving the needle forward with the information 129 00:06:36.520 --> 00:06:38.880 that you're providing. So I know that we are just 130 00:06:38.920 --> 00:06:42.400 as grateful for you and having taken the time to 131 00:06:42.440 --> 00:06:44.440 do that and help so many other moms along the way. 132 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:47.400 So too, again, eighty percent of the folks who are 133 00:06:47.400 --> 00:06:49.560 here tonight have read this book. What do you want 134 00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:52.040 to say to them or anyone who's here who's read 135 00:06:52.080 --> 00:06:54.400 the book or shared a book that shared the book, 136 00:06:54.640 --> 00:06:56.200 is there anything that you would want to say to them? 137 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:01.320 I think that sometimes when I talk about this book 138 00:07:01.320 --> 00:07:03.440 with people, I want them to understand that it's a 139 00:07:03.600 --> 00:07:05.800 I think of it as a tool, Like. 140 00:07:05.800 --> 00:07:07.240 So there is a. 141 00:07:08.839 --> 00:07:11.640 Lot in the book about like, here is the evidence 142 00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:13.120 on this, here are the facts. 143 00:07:12.760 --> 00:07:15.760 Here is the data, and you should be using this. 144 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:18.960 You can use this to make some decisions about your 145 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:24.760 own pregnancy, which is different from this is how you 146 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:26.760 should do it. And so there's a sort of moment 147 00:07:26.840 --> 00:07:29.840 sometimes when I talk to people and they say, well, 148 00:07:29.840 --> 00:07:31.320 what did you do for that, like did you eat 149 00:07:31.320 --> 00:07:33.400 sushi when you were pregnant? Like, I'm happy to tell 150 00:07:33.400 --> 00:07:34.920 you that I hate sushi when I'm pregnant. I mean, 151 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:37.400 I'll tell people anything like I'm you know, I'm talking 152 00:07:37.400 --> 00:07:38.560 about vaginas all the time. 153 00:07:38.400 --> 00:07:39.160 And an open book. 154 00:07:39.400 --> 00:07:43.000 But actually it shouldn't matter if I eat sushi during 155 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:45.040 pregnant pregnancy. What I'm trying to do with the book 156 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:47.280 is say, here is the evidence. Here's why you might 157 00:07:47.320 --> 00:07:49.560 want to think about avoiding it. Here's why you're toold 158 00:07:49.560 --> 00:07:51.680 to avoid it, Here's what the data says about that, 159 00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:54.840 and then you make the choice for yourself. And that's 160 00:07:54.880 --> 00:07:57.520 a really important distinction that goes across expecting better and 161 00:07:57.560 --> 00:08:00.680 everything else that I do is this idea that we 162 00:08:00.680 --> 00:08:03.880 should be empowered to make the choices for ourselves. 163 00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:06.560 And that was the frustrating piece for me. 164 00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:08.560 And maybe that's like a way to that's a way 165 00:08:08.600 --> 00:08:11.920 to say it, like I was frustrated by not being 166 00:08:11.960 --> 00:08:14.120 able to make the choice, not. 167 00:08:14.360 --> 00:08:16.560 That I was frustrated because I couldn't eat sushi. 168 00:08:17.320 --> 00:08:19.800 And that distinction is pretty important, and that's kind of 169 00:08:19.800 --> 00:08:21.960 what I'm trying to help people with in the book, 170 00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:25.360 more than giving them permission for their deli sandwiches or 171 00:08:26.120 --> 00:08:29.280 tuna subs or whatever that was for me, tuna. 172 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:32.559 Sub Yeah, well it's coffee for me, So I thank you. 173 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.080 I think a lot of us say thank you for 174 00:08:34.160 --> 00:08:37.200 that that we should have coffee still, And I think 175 00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:38.679 that that's the thing is that I think what you're 176 00:08:38.679 --> 00:08:41.600 really doing is you're giving us options. It's not this 177 00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:44.199 one way to do things. It's giving us all of 178 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.400 the information and helping us feel I think the word 179 00:08:46.400 --> 00:08:49.160 that sticks out is really empowered during this process. So 180 00:08:49.760 --> 00:08:51.640 I think more than anything. That's something that we often 181 00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:54.040 feel like we are a passenger in the process versus 182 00:08:54.040 --> 00:08:56.120 the driver. And I think that this book has really 183 00:08:56.160 --> 00:08:58.720 allowed us to feel like we are leading our own way. 184 00:08:58.840 --> 00:09:01.840 So did you ever think that when you wrote this 185 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:04.440 ten years ago that ten years later this book would 186 00:09:04.440 --> 00:09:06.120 still resonate with so many people. 187 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:08.559 I had like no expectations. 188 00:09:08.640 --> 00:09:10.760 I mean, I had never done this before, and so 189 00:09:10.840 --> 00:09:12.520 I didn't know what would happen. 190 00:09:12.800 --> 00:09:14.680 But I think one of the things that is true, 191 00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:15.440 and this sort of gets. 192 00:09:15.320 --> 00:09:18.160 At what you were saying, is the experience of being 193 00:09:18.200 --> 00:09:23.760 pregnant is very consistent, Like he's very shared. It was 194 00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:27.559 a very shared and hard to explain experience of what 195 00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:31.080 it is like to like make another person. And some 196 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:33.560 of it is a feeling of like being lost a 197 00:09:33.559 --> 00:09:35.280 little bit, and some of it is a feeling of 198 00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:37.320 like being scared. 199 00:09:37.040 --> 00:09:38.280 And but it's shared. 200 00:09:38.400 --> 00:09:40.680 And I think that's in some way why that's why, 201 00:09:40.880 --> 00:09:43.160 maybe why some of the book has resonated, just that 202 00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.680 this is this is an experience that's something we kind 203 00:09:46.679 --> 00:09:50.280 of all I don't know, we kind of like everybody's 204 00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:52.800 pregnancy is different, but the broad experience of being pregnant, 205 00:09:52.840 --> 00:09:54.720 I think has a lot of I don't know, has 206 00:09:54.760 --> 00:09:55.760 a lot of similarities. 207 00:09:56.960 --> 00:09:59.400 Well, and you're helping us feel less scared, which is 208 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:02.480 pret pretty powerful during that experience, you know. 209 00:10:02.920 --> 00:10:05.240 Yeah, I mean I think anxiety, you know, for me, 210 00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:08.040 so much of what I write comes like out of 211 00:10:08.040 --> 00:10:12.040 my own anxiety. And so there's this There was this 212 00:10:12.200 --> 00:10:15.280 moment at some point where someone like I was talking 213 00:10:15.280 --> 00:10:15.559 to someone. 214 00:10:15.559 --> 00:10:17.440 My husband was there, and she was like. 215 00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:21.000 You must be the most relaxed pregnant person, and my 216 00:10:21.080 --> 00:10:23.760 husband's like lost it. He was just like, are you kidding, 217 00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:26.360 Like this is the least relaxed, Like this person so 218 00:10:26.559 --> 00:10:27.199 not relaxed. 219 00:10:27.240 --> 00:10:30.360 She wrote like an entire book about like how to 220 00:10:30.520 --> 00:10:34.400 like try to relax more like this could not be 221 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:37.640 less relaxed. So I'm not relaxed, but I'm trying to 222 00:10:37.679 --> 00:10:38.120 help you. 223 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:40.400 Relax, I know, well, and we're all trying to be 224 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:42.480 a little bit more relaxed. And it does help. I mean, 225 00:10:42.520 --> 00:10:45.280 I think that these resources really do help. And again 226 00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:47.800 it wasn't so much a prescription of hey, this is 227 00:10:47.840 --> 00:10:49.920 what you should do. It was hey, these are your 228 00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:52.199 options and kind of do what works for you. 229 00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:52.920 Yeah. 230 00:10:52.920 --> 00:10:54.800 I also think there's a piece of this which is 231 00:10:54.840 --> 00:10:58.079 about like empowering people to have conversations, particularly when we 232 00:10:58.120 --> 00:11:00.440 talk about some of these harder and even more medical 233 00:11:00.480 --> 00:11:01.679 parts of pregnancy. 234 00:11:01.760 --> 00:11:03.480 Like you know, I'm not a doctor. 235 00:11:03.640 --> 00:11:06.240 We all know that, and some of these conversations do 236 00:11:06.360 --> 00:11:08.520 really end up like have to be with your provider. 237 00:11:08.559 --> 00:11:11.160 They can't just be something you decide on your own. 238 00:11:11.240 --> 00:11:15.559 But coming into that conversation prepared to have it, prepared 239 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:18.120 to think about, you know, what are the things that 240 00:11:18.160 --> 00:11:19.920 you want or what are the things you're worried about. 241 00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:21.360 Giving people the. 242 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:23.680 Language to have that has seemed to me to be 243 00:11:23.800 --> 00:11:26.400 an important part of what this delivers for at least 244 00:11:26.440 --> 00:11:29.840 some you know, for at least some patients, because those 245 00:11:30.400 --> 00:11:35.199 visits can be like scary and just and feel like 246 00:11:35.240 --> 00:11:36.840 there's so much information and you don't know what it 247 00:11:36.880 --> 00:11:38.560 is and you're not like ready to hear it. 248 00:11:39.160 --> 00:11:41.240 Yeah, I also think that it's helped. I mean, I've 249 00:11:41.240 --> 00:11:43.480 been on both sides as a medical provider and as 250 00:11:43.520 --> 00:11:46.840 a patient, but you're you're kind of pushing medical providers 251 00:11:46.880 --> 00:11:48.559 to like step up their game a little bit. 252 00:11:49.440 --> 00:11:52.439 Somebody was like, somebody was like, you, I want to 253 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:54.360 talk to some doctors, and one of them started their 254 00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:56.520 question with like you must be the worst patient. 255 00:11:56.559 --> 00:11:58.880 It was like a nice question, but it's like, yeah, 256 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:01.840 that sounds right, and I wouldn't want to treat me. 257 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:04.280 Let me come up with my list of questions. As 258 00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:08.559 I I've brought some up to date materials for you 259 00:12:08.679 --> 00:12:09.560 to review with me. 260 00:12:09.800 --> 00:12:10.200 Thank you. 261 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:13.280 Well, so let's talk a little bit more about one 262 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:16.480 of yours and my favorite topics, which is vagina. So 263 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:18.720 this is kind of just opening up to because I 264 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:20.800 think what your book did and continues to do is 265 00:12:21.280 --> 00:12:24.520 it really does help us have conversations. So but you know, 266 00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:26.160 one of the reasons I think about a lot, and 267 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:27.880 as you and I you know, have kind of worked 268 00:12:27.920 --> 00:12:31.000 together over some time, is like why don't people talk 269 00:12:31.040 --> 00:12:34.400 about I would say Vagina's more like why don't we 270 00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:37.679 talk about some of these things that people experience more often? 271 00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:42.200 And how do we bring these conversations kind of you know, 272 00:12:42.360 --> 00:12:44.760 up more often? And like is that do we need 273 00:12:44.760 --> 00:12:47.600 more research? Do we need you know, more books? I mean, 274 00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:49.480 what is it that kind of really helps continue to 275 00:12:49.480 --> 00:12:51.320 elevate this conversation and push it forward? 276 00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:55.080 I mean, I think the biggest thing for me is 277 00:12:55.200 --> 00:13:00.400 just like people being willing to share their experiences part 278 00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:03.520 of and and to not always make it so serious. 279 00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:06.240 I think in some sense, like what I love most 280 00:13:06.280 --> 00:13:09.440 about what you do in the public is like, and 281 00:13:09.480 --> 00:13:10.920 I sort of joked, like I wish you were wearing 282 00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:14.600 the vulvasuit, but like it is it adds an amount 283 00:13:14.640 --> 00:13:17.400 of levity to like have something where it's like, hey, 284 00:13:17.600 --> 00:13:19.480 we can talk about like what's the right way to 285 00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:21.360 pee or what's the right way to give birth, and 286 00:13:21.400 --> 00:13:24.480 we can do it without saying like, you know, this 287 00:13:24.559 --> 00:13:26.680 is like let me draw you a diagram and you 288 00:13:26.679 --> 00:13:28.920 know this is something to be ashamed about, or this 289 00:13:28.960 --> 00:13:31.560 is something to only talk about with your doctor. 290 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:34.760 That we can sort of have these conversations. 291 00:13:35.280 --> 00:13:38.720 And make like make them, make them fun, and that 292 00:13:38.880 --> 00:13:40.120 takes away some of. 293 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:43.160 The stigma and some of the fear. 294 00:13:45.040 --> 00:13:47.920 But I don't but I also think people are just like, 295 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:53.240 it's so people are so uncomfortable about you know, there's 296 00:13:53.280 --> 00:13:55.320 so much shame, right like you peoplen't want to say 297 00:13:55.320 --> 00:13:56.680 like I pee on myself when I run. 298 00:13:57.160 --> 00:13:58.520 I just don't want to say that, even though it 299 00:13:58.520 --> 00:13:59.960 happens to so many people. 300 00:14:00.080 --> 00:14:01.480 They're just like, you don't want to say that out 301 00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:03.720 loud because it's like who peas on themselves? 302 00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.280 Almost everybody, A lot of people, A lot of people, 303 00:14:06.400 --> 00:14:07.200 A lot of people do that. 304 00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:12.400 Yeah. Yeah, So I think that you're totally right, and 305 00:14:12.440 --> 00:14:14.840 I want to continue to have more of these conversations 306 00:14:14.840 --> 00:14:17.600 with you. But we have a very special guest here 307 00:14:17.640 --> 00:14:20.720 who is going to jump in and ask you more questions. 308 00:14:20.760 --> 00:14:25.320 So let's bring Amy Schumer on stage. 309 00:14:25.520 --> 00:14:30.120 Woo, Hi, how are you hi? 310 00:14:30.280 --> 00:14:30.640 Amy? 311 00:14:30.800 --> 00:14:32.560 How are you good? 312 00:14:32.720 --> 00:14:32.920 Hi? 313 00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:33.600 Sarah? 314 00:14:33.880 --> 00:14:36.880 Hey, Amy, Hi, Sarah good. 315 00:14:37.480 --> 00:14:43.240 Thank you so much. You win for the most minimalist background. 316 00:14:44.120 --> 00:14:46.880 Sarah, she's got a plant. Look at the plant we put. 317 00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:50.000 Look at that plant thriving like all of us. It's 318 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:52.400 like your plant is one upping her plant. 319 00:14:53.480 --> 00:14:54.040 I'd switch. 320 00:14:54.680 --> 00:14:57.560 I'm so honored of the opportunity to be on here 321 00:14:57.600 --> 00:14:59.320 with both of you. Thank you for having me. And 322 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:04.560 I came into Emily's work as a pregnant, as an 323 00:15:04.560 --> 00:15:09.080 expectant mother, and it was just to me, it was 324 00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:13.160 like the holy Grail. It was like this economist has 325 00:15:13.280 --> 00:15:15.600 the facts, the real studies. It was just like what 326 00:15:15.720 --> 00:15:18.000 you were like, just that somebody would sift through all 327 00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:21.040 those you know, stormy waters for you and be real. 328 00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:24.360 It was just such a gift, and I pass that 329 00:15:24.400 --> 00:15:28.000 gift onto every every mother. I can I say I 330 00:15:28.040 --> 00:15:32.680 read one book and I still yes, and then I 331 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:34.080 read Crip Sheet, of course. 332 00:15:34.680 --> 00:15:36.880 So I have to say the reason I asked Amy, 333 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:38.240 the reason I asked you to be on here is, 334 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:39.840 of course, like your mom and you talk about your 335 00:15:39.920 --> 00:15:42.280 vagina a lot, and that's so great, and you're funny. 336 00:15:42.440 --> 00:15:43.600 So those are some things I like. 337 00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:49.640 But also like you played actually pretty big role in 338 00:15:49.680 --> 00:15:52.400 getting Expecting Better into the hands of a lot of people, 339 00:15:52.520 --> 00:15:55.160 because in when you were pregnant with Gene, you posted 340 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:57.920 on Instagram and I remember this moment of like scrolling 341 00:15:57.960 --> 00:15:59.960 through my Instagram in like the car and my kid, 342 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:02.000 and I was like, oh, that's when I someone posted 343 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:03.840 the book. And then I was like, oh, it's Amy 344 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:08.560 Schumer and people were like and uh and it was great. 345 00:16:08.560 --> 00:16:11.160 And actually we can see in the there's in the 346 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:12.720 data on who bought the book. 347 00:16:12.760 --> 00:16:16.640 There's what we call the Amy Schumer bump. It's yeah, 348 00:16:16.640 --> 00:16:17.920 I know, it's what we call its. 349 00:16:18.200 --> 00:16:18.720 That's cool. 350 00:16:19.720 --> 00:16:22.920 Well, then I guess I returned the favor of you, uh, 351 00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:25.560 single handedly getting me through my pregnancy. 352 00:16:27.160 --> 00:16:28.920 Well, I'm going to keep with Sarah We're going to 353 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:30.080 kick Sarah off for a little bit. 354 00:16:30.760 --> 00:16:33.600 You get out of here, keep chatting and I will 355 00:16:33.680 --> 00:16:35.400 jump back in later. But have fun. 356 00:16:35.920 --> 00:16:37.120 Okay, get your plant with you. 357 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:38.560 That's yeah. 358 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:41.760 What if the plant gets like significantly bigger throughout the night. 359 00:16:41.680 --> 00:16:42.480 It would be amazing. 360 00:16:42.680 --> 00:16:48.600 You came back, okay, So I yeah, I was trying 361 00:16:48.600 --> 00:16:50.880 to remember, like at what moment I but you did 362 00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:52.720 just say. I was listening to you too, and you 363 00:16:52.800 --> 00:16:57.320 said that most people's pregnancies. 364 00:16:56.920 --> 00:17:00.640 Are go through the same stuff, and I was like, 365 00:17:01.040 --> 00:17:02.560 girl is not. 366 00:17:03.040 --> 00:17:05.560 Uh yeah, I know, as you know, I had a 367 00:17:05.640 --> 00:17:10.760 hyperamesis crevioderum, which is extreme nausea and vomiting. And so 368 00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:15.520 just anyone listening who is extreme nausea and vomiting and 369 00:17:15.560 --> 00:17:18.320 it's not getting better in the second trimester, you might 370 00:17:18.400 --> 00:17:18.600 have that. 371 00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:22.359 And don't be afraid aboutable marijuana. So now what I 372 00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:28.560 want to ask you is, uh, why do you. 373 00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:31.840 Think talking openly about people's pregnancy and their choices is 374 00:17:31.840 --> 00:17:33.600 so important? 375 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:35.919 I mean, I think that a big part of this 376 00:17:36.040 --> 00:17:38.720 is not feeling alone. And so even like the thing 377 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:41.320 you just said about hyperamess, like, there are a lot 378 00:17:41.359 --> 00:17:43.320 of people who have that and when I talked to 379 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.159 people with that experience. 380 00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:46.440 They will say. 381 00:17:46.280 --> 00:17:49.199 Things like, you know, I had this condition and like hypermesis. 382 00:17:49.240 --> 00:17:50.679 I mean, I don't have to tell you this BeForever 383 00:17:50.840 --> 00:17:53.520 like it's really debilitating and it can be like extremely 384 00:17:53.600 --> 00:17:58.880 medically dangerous. And it is a place where often people's 385 00:17:58.920 --> 00:18:01.239 friends will be like, why don't have some saltines. So 386 00:18:01.280 --> 00:18:03.480 somebody at some point told me, like my friend was like, 387 00:18:03.520 --> 00:18:05.120 did you try saltines and ginger ale? 388 00:18:05.400 --> 00:18:07.159 She was like, I got that text while I was 389 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:10.000 getting ivy fluids in the hospital. 390 00:18:10.080 --> 00:18:12.000 And so I think it's sort of like there's an 391 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:14.680 aloneness of you know, even parts of even pregnancy is 392 00:18:14.760 --> 00:18:17.200 going well, there's an aloneness, and when it's not going, 393 00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:19.560 when things are complicated, there's even more. And so I 394 00:18:19.600 --> 00:18:23.440 think the more we can surface, you know, the good parts, 395 00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:25.920 but also that they're not good parts and normalize that, 396 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:30.120 the better it is for people being able to figure 397 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:32.359 out when they need help, you know, understanding that like 398 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.240 that's not a normal that's not a thing you treat with. 399 00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:37.439 Like I know, but as you know, there's the medical 400 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:39.200 studies on pregnant women are so bad. 401 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:41.640