WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:03.560 Dear listener, before we start, we do mention suicide in 2 00:00:03.640 --> 00:00:04.960 this piece, so take care. 3 00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:13.640 Okay, hold this side again. Okay, I'm going to do 4 00:00:13.680 --> 00:00:15.080 the meddle now, Okay. 5 00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:21.880 Okay, this, dear listener is the sound of me getting 6 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:26.720 my eyebrows done. I know, I know you're like, what 7 00:00:26.720 --> 00:00:27.800 what we do for beauty? 8 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:28.840 Right? Right? 9 00:00:29.880 --> 00:00:32.920 The thing is, this is where the story first began 10 00:00:33.320 --> 00:00:36.360 with me and Lisbeth. Thank God for threatening, because that's 11 00:00:36.360 --> 00:00:37.120 how I met you. 12 00:00:37.479 --> 00:00:39.240 Right oky, you can bring your hand down. 13 00:00:39.159 --> 00:00:46.680 I met Lisbeth about two years ago when she was 14 00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:50.480 just nineteen years old. She was working as a brow 15 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:54.480 technician on the posh Upper West Side of Manhattan. And 16 00:00:54.560 --> 00:00:57.960 at the time, Lisbeth, who's Dominican, was a new mom. 17 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:01.120 Her baby girl was only six months old. And I 18 00:01:01.160 --> 00:01:04.200 remember the first time she threaded my eyebrows and that 19 00:01:04.720 --> 00:01:10.760 we immediately clicked. We bonded over our love of Dominican culture. 20 00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:13.440 We were talking about music, food, you know, all of it, 21 00:01:14.080 --> 00:01:18.000 and well, I do love meeting young Latinas who are 22 00:01:18.160 --> 00:01:25.800 tough New Yorkers, and that is Lisbeth. Hair already okay, good, yeah, 23 00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:30.320 I get comfortable, are you okay? Yeah, Today's interview is 24 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:34.000 just for audio for radio, right, But Liz Beth has 25 00:01:34.040 --> 00:01:37.920 got on a full face of makeup and all of 26 00:01:37.959 --> 00:01:41.679 her bling. She says. Her outfit is her low effort 27 00:01:41.720 --> 00:01:46.520 single mom. Look, it's a cozy matching sweatsuit. Oh hello, 28 00:01:47.080 --> 00:01:48.080 you know pumpkin. 29 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:49.120 Hi. 30 00:01:51.160 --> 00:01:53.960 And as we're getting ready to record our conversation in 31 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:56.960 the studio, Lisbeth pulls out her phone and shows me 32 00:01:57.040 --> 00:02:00.400 photos and videos of her now to an a half 33 00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:01.320 year old daughter. 34 00:02:01.720 --> 00:02:03.559 Oh look, this was the video of her hair. 35 00:02:04.440 --> 00:02:06.240 My god, is she adorable? 36 00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:10.760 Yeah? She called her grandpa life. But Paul, look at 37 00:02:10.760 --> 00:02:11.280 my hair? 38 00:02:13.480 --> 00:02:16.800 And you know me, dear, letting know Usay, listener, you 39 00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:20.640 know that I love to start conversations with people wherever 40 00:02:20.720 --> 00:02:24.359 I go, and I like to get deep. So two 41 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:28.079 years ago, there I was telling my brow technician, who 42 00:02:28.120 --> 00:02:31.399 I had just met, that I had come back recently 43 00:02:31.400 --> 00:02:35.240 from reporting in Uvaldi, Texas, that I was feeling all 44 00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:39.240 of this stress and pain and trauma from talking to 45 00:02:39.320 --> 00:02:43.160 folks who lost loved ones in that tragic mass shooting 46 00:02:43.240 --> 00:02:46.639 in Uvaldi. And when I was telling her this story, 47 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:51.320 I noticed a serious change in these bets face. And 48 00:02:51.639 --> 00:02:54.400 that is the reason why she's in the studio with 49 00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:55.280 me today. 50 00:02:55.320 --> 00:02:59.200 Like every time, I'm just like dang, only twenty one 51 00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:03.840 and I've done live and lived the life already. 52 00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:12.320 Because just weeks after Lisbeth's daughter was born in twenty 53 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:14.720 twenty two, and she was in the midst of dealing 54 00:03:14.760 --> 00:03:18.800 with postpartum at just eighteen years old. Right at that 55 00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:22.320 time is when lis Beth gets shot on a street 56 00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:27.840 in Harlem, not once, but four times. It was an 57 00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:32.200 event that would change her life entirely, from her personal relationships, 58 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:35.840 to her relationship with therapy, to everything that she understood 59 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.400 about being a young mom. And like that would be 60 00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:42.400 enough to have Lizbeth come on and share her story 61 00:03:42.440 --> 00:03:46.800 with us. But the thing is the most unexpected part 62 00:03:46.920 --> 00:03:51.040 of all of this is that Lisbeth owes her survival 63 00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:57.040 in large part to a very traditional Latina postpartum staple, 64 00:03:57.520 --> 00:04:07.600 which is la faja or a girdle from Fudromedia and PRX. 65 00:04:07.640 --> 00:04:10.800 It's Latino Usa. I'm Maria in no Josa, and today 66 00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:14.480 we hear about a young Latina mom's journey of healing 67 00:04:14.480 --> 00:04:19.159 from gun violence and postpartum depression in a country where 68 00:04:19.200 --> 00:04:23.080 there's little support for either, and also we'll talk all 69 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:31.479 about La Faja. Now. I had heard snippets of Lisbeth's 70 00:04:31.480 --> 00:04:34.000 story during the time that I would be seeing her 71 00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:36.920 to get my brows done, but this is the first 72 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:41.320 time that we're actually sitting down to talk about what happened. 73 00:04:41.800 --> 00:04:44.839 It was like eight thirty one. I got off work. 74 00:04:45.440 --> 00:04:47.680 My daughter's dad have picked me up from work, and 75 00:04:47.760 --> 00:04:52.200 we have went back uptown to Harlem, where my parents were. 76 00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:55.320 Lisbeth grew up on the same street as her best friend, 77 00:04:55.400 --> 00:04:59.159 Angelia or Angie for short, and all of this is 78 00:04:59.200 --> 00:05:04.840 happening in Harlem. Angie and Lizabeth were inseparable until Angie 79 00:05:04.920 --> 00:05:08.960 moved to Virginia for college, and that's where she ended 80 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:13.200 up getting shot and killed. Angie, who was black, had 81 00:05:13.279 --> 00:05:16.400 left the streets of Harlem, only to be killed at 82 00:05:16.400 --> 00:05:18.839 a college house party in Virginia. 83 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:24.719 My best friend passed away on September fourth of twenty 84 00:05:24.800 --> 00:05:28.200 twenty two, so every fourth of the month we would 85 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:32.960 do something to honor her, whether it was lighting up candles, 86 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:37.279 releasing balloons, or just getting together. Usually it would be 87 00:05:37.600 --> 00:05:40.120 on my block because me and her lived on the 88 00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:40.719 same block. 89 00:05:41.200 --> 00:05:43.560 But this time, in November of twenty twenty two, the 90 00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:47.480 outdoor memorial for Angie was moved just four blocks away 91 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:48.440 to a friend's place. 92 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:52.719 Then I see this guy come in a pink bike, 93 00:05:52.920 --> 00:05:55.680 which Angie's favorite color was pink, so he just had 94 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:58.839 like spray painted it and had a picture of her 95 00:05:59.240 --> 00:05:59.640 on it. 96 00:06:00.400 --> 00:06:03.600 The guy on the pink bike was a friend of Angie's, 97 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:08.080 but Lizabeth didn't recognize him, and neither did Angie's mom. Now, 98 00:06:08.520 --> 00:06:11.200 at this point, we're literally just a few minutes into 99 00:06:11.200 --> 00:06:15.479 our interview, But right when Lizabeth mentions this young man, 100 00:06:16.400 --> 00:06:20.320 I can see her start to physically react. Right, she's 101 00:06:20.880 --> 00:06:23.920 taking deeper breaths now, and her voice begins to waver 102 00:06:24.080 --> 00:06:28.680 as she speaks. Just need a second, It's okay, babe, 103 00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:32.080 take as long as you need. You want to tell 104 00:06:32.120 --> 00:06:33.159 me what you're feeling right now? 105 00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:37.479 Anxiety a little bit? 106 00:06:37.839 --> 00:06:43.279 Yeah, yeah, because you're you're actually telling this story like 107 00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:44.160 in a formal way. 108 00:06:44.400 --> 00:06:45.839 Yeah. 109 00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:48.920 My sense is that you've been thinking about this interview 110 00:06:49.400 --> 00:06:52.760 for a while. Yeah, Am I right? Yes, it's not like, oh, 111 00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:55.480 it's just another day I have to go. Do you've 112 00:06:55.480 --> 00:07:00.200 been anxious about this for a while? Yes, I'm so sorry. 113 00:07:00.400 --> 00:07:07.000 It's okay, I asked lisbith if she wants to stop 114 00:07:07.120 --> 00:07:09.800 or if she wants to talk about something else. But 115 00:07:10.080 --> 00:07:14.800 she looks at me with this determination, right, and she says, no, no, no, 116 00:07:14.880 --> 00:07:17.240 let's keep going. She wants to keep talking about that 117 00:07:17.320 --> 00:07:19.760 precise moment at her best friend's memorial. 118 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:25.280 I am talking with Angie's mom and two other mutual friends. 119 00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:30.400 And then next thing you know, I look across the 120 00:07:30.520 --> 00:07:36.320 street and I see two guys with ski mask. But 121 00:07:36.440 --> 00:07:39.720 by the time I kind of noticed it was too late. 122 00:07:40.320 --> 00:07:42.520 It was like I looked and then boom, I was 123 00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:43.160 on the floor. 124 00:07:43.840 --> 00:07:47.720 The men started shooting towards her direction. They were targeting 125 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:50.000 that young guy on the pink bike. 126 00:07:50.760 --> 00:07:53.520 At first, I was like, did I get shot? Is 127 00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:56.160 that why I'm on the floor or am I just 128 00:07:56.240 --> 00:08:01.320 in shock right now? And then I started feeling excruciating 129 00:08:01.440 --> 00:08:05.560 pain all in my left body, and I was just like, no, 130 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:15.000 this is not a shot. My blood was like boiling inside. 131 00:08:15.240 --> 00:08:19.720 Lizabeth had been shot. She had four gunshot wounds, one 132 00:08:19.760 --> 00:08:22.800 in her chest, one in her back, and two in 133 00:08:22.880 --> 00:08:23.360 her arm. 134 00:08:23.880 --> 00:08:28.080 We were there for about forty minutes. I'm sorry what 135 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:32.360 it took the ambulance about forty minutes to get there. 136 00:08:33.280 --> 00:08:34.679 Four zero minutes. 137 00:08:34.840 --> 00:08:40.520 Yes, in Manhattan, So the hospital and the precinct were 138 00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:45.320 one avenue away from each other and eight blocks away 139 00:08:45.679 --> 00:08:47.520 from where this happened. 140 00:08:48.040 --> 00:08:48.760 Oh my god. 141 00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:54.600 And when the police officers finally got there, they walked 142 00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:58.520 to me, they thought I was already dead. 143 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:04.120 Oh my god. These beds didn't bleed out, and that's 144 00:09:04.400 --> 00:09:06.440 mostly because of what she was wearing. 145 00:09:07.040 --> 00:09:11.720 I had a faha which is a waist strainer, because 146 00:09:11.800 --> 00:09:14.760 I was two months postpartum. You know, I was just 147 00:09:14.800 --> 00:09:19.080 trying to help my body bounce back after having my baby. 148 00:09:19.920 --> 00:09:23.320 Now, it's not an uncommon thing, especially if you're a Latina. 149 00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:27.000 You know, you give birth and then you get wrapped 150 00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:30.040 up almost immediately in a kind of girdle that goes 151 00:09:30.120 --> 00:09:32.720 around your waist and it just kind of tightens you up. 152 00:09:33.160 --> 00:09:35.959 Once I get in the ambulance, they're like ripping my 153 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:40.480 clothes apart. And then one of the emt she was 154 00:09:40.520 --> 00:09:44.280 a Hispanic girl, and she sees that I have a 155 00:09:44.320 --> 00:09:47.320 fah on and everybody's like, what is that, and she's like, well, 156 00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:50.480 she did mention that she had a baby two months ago, 157 00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:53.800 and our culture is very common for you to have 158 00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:56.680 a faha on after you have a baby. My faja 159 00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.240 was extremely thick, Like I paid almost one hundred dollar 160 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:03.720 for that faha in Washington Heights. It had to be 161 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:07.200 like almost this thick, about an inch, and it was 162 00:10:07.240 --> 00:10:09.600 something that I didn't even know how I could last 163 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:14.400 my whole workshift with that thing on without suffocating because 164 00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:15.240 it was tay. 165 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.640 So you're smiling, no, now you're now you're smiling. 166 00:10:20.400 --> 00:10:23.600 They're like fighting with the scissor, trying to get through it, 167 00:10:23.679 --> 00:10:28.960 and then they take it off and the girls like what, 168 00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:34.880 Like nobody really believe what they were seeing because they 169 00:10:35.080 --> 00:10:40.360 see me with four bullet holes and no blood. She 170 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:45.320 was like, literally like what the fuck? It's like, you 171 00:10:45.320 --> 00:10:47.120 guys are not understanding right now. 172 00:10:50.960 --> 00:10:54.720 Of course I knew all about these facs. I mean, 173 00:10:55.080 --> 00:10:58.640 it's pretty serious stuff. And when I had my daughter, 174 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:01.760 I don't remember how, oh, but a fajha made its 175 00:11:01.800 --> 00:11:04.600 way to me from my family's home in Mexico so 176 00:11:04.640 --> 00:11:06.839 that I could wear it. And my mom wore her 177 00:11:06.920 --> 00:11:10.560 own version of the faja and got wrapped up after 178 00:11:10.640 --> 00:11:13.600 she had me and my siblings. So it's like something 179 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:15.319 that you don't really think about a lot. It's kind 180 00:11:15.320 --> 00:11:17.160 of like, you know, the FAA's going to help you. 181 00:11:17.800 --> 00:11:20.320 But never in my life could I have imagined that 182 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.720 a faha would end up saving someone's life like literally, 183 00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:26.959 And neither did Li's bed. 184 00:11:27.520 --> 00:11:31.640 They were surprised because the girl just kept saying, if 185 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:34.680 she would have never had this fahan, she would have 186 00:11:34.760 --> 00:11:39.679 bled and died because the biggest wound that I have 187 00:11:40.160 --> 00:11:43.840 is right here, and it's between the front of my 188 00:11:44.040 --> 00:11:48.000 chest and the back, which also is right through the 189 00:11:48.040 --> 00:11:52.240 spleen and your lung. God forbid, I wouldn't have had 190 00:11:52.280 --> 00:11:55.480 the fahan. It would have went straight from my spleen 191 00:11:55.600 --> 00:11:59.560 to my lung and that's it. Yeah, I had a 192 00:11:59.600 --> 00:12:03.200 fah on. But a gun is a gun. A bullet 193 00:12:03.200 --> 00:12:05.280 hole is a bullet hole. It's not like I have 194 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:09.120 a what's those things with a bulletproof vest? 195 00:12:12.640 --> 00:12:16.400 When we come back these, Beth explains the daily consequences 196 00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:20.199 of being a survivor of gun violence, and she takes 197 00:12:20.280 --> 00:12:23.520 us on her path to find strength from the shooting. 198 00:12:24.200 --> 00:12:39.240 Stay with us, Yes, Hey, we're back. So Whendy's Beth 199 00:12:39.400 --> 00:12:42.679 was shot two years ago. She was wearing a paha 200 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:45.760 it's a girdle, and it literally saved her life. 201 00:12:46.360 --> 00:12:48.480 If I would have known that my faha would have 202 00:12:48.600 --> 00:12:53.440 saved me. I wouldn't have overthought so much while I 203 00:12:53.520 --> 00:12:54.760 was laying on that ground. 204 00:12:59.240 --> 00:13:01.520 I mean, you would have having a different kind of conversation. 205 00:13:01.800 --> 00:13:06.600 Okay, okay, God, I see the point now, but thank you. 206 00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:09.680 You know. But no, like I was really scared, and 207 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:14.160 it wasn't even because I was scared of losing my life. 208 00:13:14.840 --> 00:13:18.880 I wasn't even thinking about myself. Everyone that touched me 209 00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:21.160 that night knew that I had a two month old 210 00:13:21.400 --> 00:13:25.360 back home, because that's all I kept pleading, Please don't 211 00:13:25.440 --> 00:13:28.840 let me die. My baby's waiting for me. Like she's 212 00:13:28.880 --> 00:13:31.959 only two months. I haven't even experienced her that long. 213 00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:36.160 And I feel like she really saved me in so 214 00:13:36.280 --> 00:13:45.120 many different ways that I would have never thought where's Lea. 215 00:13:45.920 --> 00:13:49.560 And now that it's like two years later, now I 216 00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:53.800 really understand. If I would have never had her, I 217 00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:56.719 would have never been wearing a f aha. If I 218 00:13:56.720 --> 00:13:59.520 wouldn't had her, I don't think I would have made 219 00:13:59.520 --> 00:14:02.800 it out that dark place that I was in. What 220 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:08.480 is the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, gimme keyses, 221 00:14:09.880 --> 00:14:10.960 gimme kisses. 222 00:14:18.800 --> 00:14:22.040 The layers of mental health struggles Lise Beth went through 223 00:14:22.080 --> 00:14:26.160 after being shot. It was a lot. Not only did 224 00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:29.960 she develop intense emotional trauma from the shooting, she had 225 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:33.800 post traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, but she was also 226 00:14:33.880 --> 00:14:37.640 a new mom coping with postpartum anxiety and depression. Even 227 00:14:37.680 --> 00:14:40.960 for moms who don't struggle so much with postpartum, it's 228 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:44.200 still a period that's already a fragile moment in a 229 00:14:44.200 --> 00:14:48.240 woman's life. And these are two issues that, frankly often 230 00:14:48.280 --> 00:14:52.440 go overlooked. In the United States. There aren't many resources 231 00:14:52.520 --> 00:14:57.840 or services specifically dedicated to mental health needs, no matter 232 00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:01.640 if it's for new moms or survivors of gun violence, 233 00:15:01.920 --> 00:15:04.920 and both of these issues are not easy to talk about, 234 00:15:05.480 --> 00:15:08.280 so it can end up feeling very lonely. 235 00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:16.600 Growing up, mental health was not something that we talked about. 236 00:15:17.360 --> 00:15:19.520 It was always, Oh, what are you sad for? You 237 00:15:19.560 --> 00:15:21.400 have a roof over your head, you have both of 238 00:15:21.480 --> 00:15:25.840 your parents, you have food. Nothing's wrong. You shouldn't be crying. 239 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:29.440 You shouldn't be feeling like this. We grew up on survival. 240 00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:32.880 We didn't grow up on love. We came from a 241 00:15:32.920 --> 00:15:37.880 really really poor campo in the dominicure public where you know, 242 00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:41.880 it was days where there was nothing. 243 00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:45.520 And that survival mindset that she learned in the dr 244 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:48.120 it stayed with her when she and her family came 245 00:15:48.160 --> 00:15:50.760 to the United States when Lee's Beth was seven years old. 246 00:15:51.720 --> 00:15:56.280 Then in her early teens, these Beth began struggling with anxiety. 247 00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:59.400 She was just about to go into high school, the 248 00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:01.600 only one of her siblings to end up doing that, 249 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:03.880 and that put a lot of pressure on her not 250 00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:08.440 to fail, especially from her parents. She said the anxiety 251 00:16:08.480 --> 00:16:13.560 attacks sometimes got so overwhelming that she'd end up blacking out, 252 00:16:14.520 --> 00:16:19.200 and through it all she felt entirely misunderstood by her parents. 253 00:16:20.360 --> 00:16:22.640 They're like, we don't know what you're talking about. They 254 00:16:22.720 --> 00:16:26.480 thought that it was just like, oh, you know, these 255 00:16:26.520 --> 00:16:31.160 American kids, once they come here, they get so sensitive. 256 00:16:31.160 --> 00:16:33.880 And that's a common feeling for a lot of immigrant families, 257 00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:38.840 like even acknowledging mental health issues exist can be challenging, 258 00:16:39.280 --> 00:16:43.880 let alone having a meaningful, open, calm conversation about it. 259 00:16:44.600 --> 00:16:47.960 You see, many first generation kids grow up with immigrant 260 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.560 parents who were raised in essence hiding their emotional struggles, 261 00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:55.480 and they want their kids to be grateful for the 262 00:16:55.480 --> 00:16:57.840 opportunities that they have in the United States and to 263 00:16:57.880 --> 00:17:01.880 not complain about their feelings, so it wasn't easy for 264 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.920 Lisbeth to talk about all of this with her family. 265 00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:09.200 But then one day, when Lisbeth was seventeen, just after 266 00:17:09.280 --> 00:17:13.600 she'd graduated high school, things got really bad. These Beth 267 00:17:13.800 --> 00:17:17.600 had a severe anxiety attack at home. She was throwing up, 268 00:17:17.880 --> 00:17:21.359 she couldn't stop shaking, she couldn't stop crying. And that 269 00:17:21.520 --> 00:17:24.760 was when her parents finally took her seriously. 270 00:17:25.560 --> 00:17:29.360 They really were like, I'm so sorry that you've had 271 00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:31.439 to deal with this, and we didn't know. 272 00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:37.280 But even after that incident, these Beth didn't get professional help. 273 00:17:38.080 --> 00:17:41.560 It wasn't until her shooting about two years later that 274 00:17:41.640 --> 00:17:44.280 Lisbeth finally considered therapy. 275 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:47.000 I will wake up every day at the same time, 276 00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:52.640 having the same nightmare over and over again, hyperventilating, thinking 277 00:17:52.680 --> 00:17:57.160 I was seeing blood on me and feeling extremely scared. 278 00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:01.359 I just kept living the same snai over and over 279 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:10.480 and over and over again. I was like having voices 280 00:18:10.520 --> 00:18:15.000 in my head and I wouldn't come out my room 281 00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:20.760 because I felt like someone was after me and my baby, 282 00:18:21.320 --> 00:18:24.760 to the point where I wouldn't sleep. I was scared 283 00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:28.560 to like be away from her any second. I will 284 00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:31.720 have the same thought every day just like I'm not 285 00:18:31.800 --> 00:18:35.680 good enough. What am I here for? I have no family, 286 00:18:36.080 --> 00:18:39.840 I have nobody. I feel so alone, nobody cares for me. 287 00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:44.280 I'll be better not here. I would put a lighter 288 00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:49.320 to like my leg to kind of like feel something, 289 00:18:49.480 --> 00:18:53.120 to kind of bring me back. Like, girl, you kind 290 00:18:53.119 --> 00:18:56.840 of taken it too far. It's not back. You cannot 291 00:18:57.000 --> 00:19:00.399 just abandon your child and harm yourself. 292 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:12.880 For young Latinas in the United States, struggling with mental 293 00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:17.480 health is very real, and the data shows it. More 294 00:19:17.520 --> 00:19:22.160 than one in four Latina teenagers has had suicidal thoughts. 295 00:19:22.840 --> 00:19:25.760 And for Li's Beth, who was only nineteen at the time, 296 00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:31.280 these thoughts became constant and they were weighing really heavily 297 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:35.200 on her. And so whenever these Beth had moments that 298 00:19:35.720 --> 00:19:39.439 basically snapped her out of this hopeless void. It was 299 00:19:39.520 --> 00:19:40.879 when she would think about her baby. 300 00:19:41.280 --> 00:19:44.880 That was kind of like bursting the bubble, like admitting 301 00:19:44.920 --> 00:19:48.439 to myself, I'm suicidal. I need you to help me. 302 00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:52.119 She had the number of a therapist office on a 303 00:19:52.160 --> 00:19:54.720 post it note that she had taped on her door, 304 00:19:54.760 --> 00:19:58.200 and it was there for weeks, but finally, one day, 305 00:19:58.680 --> 00:20:01.919 three months after the show, shooting. Lisbeth picked up the 306 00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:05.200 phone and made the call to book an appointment. 307 00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:09.880 The lady is like, the wait is not until July. 308 00:20:10.680 --> 00:20:15.359 I said, ma'am, can I tell you something please? She's like, yeah, 309 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:18.720 of course. I was like, I got shot three months ago, 310 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:22.439 four times. I am gone also through a post part 311 00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:25.800 of depression. I have a five month old baby, and 312 00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:30.600 I also have extreme PTSD right now, so I would really, really, 313 00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:34.960 really really appreciate you if you can help me. She's like, oh, 314 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:38.040 I'm so sorry. Let me see if I can transfer 315 00:20:38.080 --> 00:20:41.439 you somewhere else. And then she transferred me to a 316 00:20:41.560 --> 00:20:47.600 trauma department and they squeezed me into the list. A 317 00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:49.680 week later, I had a therapist. 318 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.360 Remember when I told you about tough Latina and New Yorkers. 319 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:57.560 You see, that's what I'm talking about. But when it 320 00:20:57.600 --> 00:21:00.760 came time to go to that first appointment, and she 321 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:04.600 was hesitant the thought of opening up about her struggles 322 00:21:04.840 --> 00:21:08.600 to a complete stranger. I mean it terrified her until 323 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:11.520 she got to that first session and she saw the 324 00:21:11.560 --> 00:21:14.639 man who was going to be her therapist, and it 325 00:21:14.760 --> 00:21:15.520 changed everything. 326 00:21:16.280 --> 00:21:19.640 He looked just like my dad, and he had such 327 00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:24.640 a like soft energy. He also grew up in Harlem, 328 00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:28.440 and the little girl and me was like, you can 329 00:21:28.480 --> 00:21:31.720 open up, you can tell him these things, this is 330 00:21:31.760 --> 00:21:32.680 what he's here for. 331 00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:37.520 And this was life changing for at least bit. Knowing 332 00:21:37.760 --> 00:21:41.880 she was brave enough to have those conversations actually made 333 00:21:41.880 --> 00:21:46.479 her look forward to every therapy session every week. 334 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:50.960 My therapist taught me about box breathing. It's like a 335 00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:53.240 form of meditation. He was just like, you know, close 336 00:21:53.280 --> 00:21:58.120 your eyes, relax, try to not hear any of the 337 00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:04.480 outside noise, and just act like you're connecting the dots 338 00:22:04.520 --> 00:22:07.720 in a box and you're breathing in and out as 339 00:22:07.760 --> 00:22:10.400 you go. So let's say we're here. 340 00:22:10.560 --> 00:22:14.000 These bed points her index finger at an imaginary spot 341 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:14.640 in front of her. 342 00:22:14.800 --> 00:22:20.360 You'll breathe in, breathe out, and then you stay at 343 00:22:20.359 --> 00:22:20.920 that point. 344 00:22:21.080 --> 00:22:25.240 She draws an imaginary line to another point horizontally. 345 00:22:24.840 --> 00:22:28.760 And then you go back again breathe in, breathe. 346 00:22:28.520 --> 00:22:33.560 Out, and then another one going down, and then you 347 00:22:33.640 --> 00:22:37.080 go to the other point and she completes this square 348 00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:40.640 with her finger and she's taking deep breaths. 349 00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:43.640 You can do four, you can do eight, you can 350 00:22:43.680 --> 00:22:48.600 do as many as you need to calm yourself and 351 00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:55.040 get into more of a Okay, I'm feeling, I'm breathing, 352 00:22:56.119 --> 00:23:00.120 I'm gonna be okay. 353 00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:06.320 None of this would be happening, like you would not 354 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:09.119 have found therapy that allows you to have come up 355 00:23:09.160 --> 00:23:13.520 with these coping mechanisms that allow you to basically live 356 00:23:13.640 --> 00:23:17.520 on a daily basis. We wouldn't be sitting in this 357 00:23:18.080 --> 00:23:22.359 studio for a national audience hearing your story were it 358 00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:24.960 not for the fact that you got shot. How do 359 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:26.080 you put that together? 360 00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:31.240 Honestly, when this first happened, I was just in such 361 00:23:31.280 --> 00:23:34.040 a dark place and I was like, Wow, why would 362 00:23:34.119 --> 00:23:37.160 God torture me like this? Why would you keep me here? 363 00:23:37.600 --> 00:23:40.800 What am I supposed to look forward to? And now 364 00:23:41.760 --> 00:23:45.320 I am like, okay, yes I got shot. 365 00:23:45.880 --> 00:23:50.800 It was therapy that helped Lisbeth finally start to move forward. 366 00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:54.040 It gave her the clarity to leave a relationship that 367 00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:57.000 wasn't great, and it gave her the strength to take 368 00:23:57.040 --> 00:24:01.160 on being a single mom at just nineteen. Slowly, Li's 369 00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:04.840 bed began to rebuild her life and her confidence. 370 00:24:05.800 --> 00:24:10.919 I got an amazing promotion at my job, seeing my 371 00:24:11.040 --> 00:24:14.679 daughter grow to be such a beautiful, smart little girl. 372 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:27.480 Let's count in Spanish? Oh no, yes, good job. And 373 00:24:27.520 --> 00:24:33.320 it's like, if only I could just hug myself from 374 00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:36.800 two years ago and just tell myself, girl, you don't 375 00:24:36.840 --> 00:24:40.720 even know none of this is gonna matter. In two 376 00:24:40.800 --> 00:24:44.439 years I would have never believed her because I'm like, 377 00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:47.320 there's no way this is getting better. And it did, 378 00:24:47.600 --> 00:24:51.080 and it got so much better because it made me 379 00:24:52.119 --> 00:24:56.679 such a different person. I see life completely different, I 380 00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:02.879 see motherhood completely different because I'm here because I wanted 381 00:25:02.920 --> 00:25:09.800 to be the best version of myself for her. 382 00:25:10.960 --> 00:25:13.960 I gotta say, like, I'm really loving this moment of 383 00:25:14.080 --> 00:25:18.480 Lizbeth being in the chair in the studio and I 384 00:25:18.520 --> 00:25:21.360 get a chance to see all of her strength, all 385 00:25:21.400 --> 00:25:24.840 of the confidence that she's built up, even as she 386 00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:28.600 takes me to the worst moment in her life. But 387 00:25:28.680 --> 00:25:31.960 part of that journey for Lisad has also been learning 388 00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:36.880 how to protect herself and how to prioritize her safety. So, 389 00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:40.720 for instance, she recently moved out of Harlem and she's 390 00:25:40.800 --> 00:25:53.040 now living in New Jersey. Unfortunately, the thing about PTSD 391 00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:56.560 is that the trauma doesn't stay in the past, and 392 00:25:56.600 --> 00:26:00.000 it doesn't stay in one place. It often follows you 393 00:26:00.119 --> 00:26:03.760 no matter where you go. So one small trigger, whether 394 00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:06.880 it's a sound or a smell, or just a feeling. 395 00:26:07.160 --> 00:26:09.240 It can snap you back to that moment, to the 396 00:26:09.320 --> 00:26:13.560 exact time and place of your trauma. This bed is 397 00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:16.320 always scanning her surroundings. 398 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:20.560 That experience has just made me be on my ten 399 00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:24.800 toes about everything and just listen. You want to cut 400 00:26:24.840 --> 00:26:29.440 the line, cut the line, I don't care. You want 401 00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.520