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<v Speaker 1>This is parent Data. I'm Emily Oster. Hi Tammer and Hall.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi Emily Ost.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for joining me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

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<v Speaker 1>So in case anyone doesn't know who you are, can

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<v Speaker 1>you tell us who you are, what you do, and

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<v Speaker 1>what kind of children you have?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay?

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<v Speaker 3>I am Tammeron Hall, who happens to be the daughter

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<v Speaker 3>of Mary Newton and the amazing step daughter to Clarence Newton,

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<v Speaker 3>Senior Master Sergeant in the Army. I am also a

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<v Speaker 3>two time Emmy Award winning talk show host, and I

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<v Speaker 3>have one kid who is super awesome. I'm his biggest fan.

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<v Speaker 3>His name happens to be Moses, and his sister pet

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<v Speaker 3>is Exodus. So clearly I like the Bible from time

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<v Speaker 3>on the time.

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<v Speaker 1>What kind of pet is Exodus?

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<v Speaker 3>She is a burna doodle, oh who is three years old,

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<v Speaker 3>and prior to her, I had a Chihuahua. Pretty much

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<v Speaker 3>my entire life, I've had small dogs and I lost

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<v Speaker 3>my dog during like twenty twenty, the year twenty twenty,

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<v Speaker 3>and I decided to get my kid a dog because

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<v Speaker 3>I've always had pets.

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<v Speaker 2>I've had chickens, dogs, ducks, geese, you name it.

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<v Speaker 3>I grew up in Texas, so there wasn't anything that

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<v Speaker 3>we didn't try to domesticate. And so having a kid

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<v Speaker 3>in New York City, who my biggest fear I was

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<v Speaker 3>probably befriending a rat, said let's get an animal. And

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<v Speaker 3>so we have a bird named Josephine Burger and we

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<v Speaker 3>have the dog Exodus, who's his dog.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's a carnival around here.

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<v Speaker 1>It's amazing. My kids want a dog. And we told

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<v Speaker 1>my daughter that she could have a dog when she well,

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<v Speaker 1>we told her when she was that when her brother

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<v Speaker 1>was three, we would talk about getting a dog. But

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<v Speaker 1>fortunately we said we'll discuss it when he's three. Now

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<v Speaker 1>he's almost ten, and we are every year she's like,

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<v Speaker 1>have about now, and we're like, we've discussed, but we've decided.

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<v Speaker 2>No. Oh' that's a masterful. See my kid didn't even

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<v Speaker 2>know he wanted to talk.

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<v Speaker 3>But I would tell you certain things are just ingrained

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<v Speaker 3>in me. I believe you should play a sport, even

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<v Speaker 3>if you're not good at the sport. I believe you

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<v Speaker 3>should have a I believe you should have a pet

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<v Speaker 3>because it just teaches you a level of compassion that

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<v Speaker 3>I don't unless it's a bird, which my bird is

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<v Speaker 3>a different head case.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think that even.

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<v Speaker 3>A cat or something that reminds you constantly of the

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<v Speaker 3>potential innocence of life, because even a kid at some

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<v Speaker 3>point recognizes that life is an innocent but a pet

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<v Speaker 3>in a proper environment always has the innocence of life.

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<v Speaker 1>I have snails.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what they think they do.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I can tell you they think every day is

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<v Speaker 3>a good day because they wake up.

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<v Speaker 1>They wake up and something spraying water on them and

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<v Speaker 1>they have let.

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<v Speaker 2>Us come on. It's like that. I can't believe me.

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<v Speaker 2>What is there? Come on?

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Tameron? What's your late night panic?

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<v Speaker 2>Google?

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<v Speaker 3>My late night panic? Google lately? Oh my late night

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<v Speaker 3>the last one. I'll be very honest.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll give you the last one, because this is the

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<v Speaker 2>give me last one.

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<v Speaker 3>I live in New York City. It's thirty degrees late

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<v Speaker 3>night panic. I was underdressing my child for the weather.

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<v Speaker 3>They had a field trip. And I know that sounds

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<v Speaker 3>tiny to some people, but it's one of those things

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<v Speaker 3>that no matter how many books on how to raise

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<v Speaker 3>a kid and all these great things. And we just

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<v Speaker 3>had Jonathan Hyde on my talk show and the whole

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<v Speaker 3>digital download. I've never found a book on how to

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<v Speaker 3>dress a kid in the winter or in the summer,

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<v Speaker 3>and it's I sent my kid out with a little

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<v Speaker 3>white muscle shirt underneath, and then a thermal shirt and

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<v Speaker 3>then another shirt, and then I sent him to with

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<v Speaker 3>two pairs of shoes, one winter style shoe and one

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<v Speaker 3>regular sneaker, two different pairs of socks, all in a

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<v Speaker 3>ziplog bag with a note attached to it. And I

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<v Speaker 3>still called his teacher this morning and said, if his

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<v Speaker 3>feet get hot, can you remind him that I sent

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<v Speaker 3>him with sneakers so that he could change, only for

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<v Speaker 3>her to say, we cancel the field trip.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh god, you tell me that won't keep you upen night.

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<v Speaker 3>You tell me where you find that answer to how

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<v Speaker 3>to dress your kid in the winter, because they're articles

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<v Speaker 3>and I googled, and it's not a straight line you ask,

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<v Speaker 3>so you're gonna get it.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no straight line. People.

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<v Speaker 3>Some people say kids run warmer, some people say they

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<v Speaker 3>run cooler, But there's no webinar, no webmar indeed that

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<v Speaker 3>answers it.

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<v Speaker 2>Your son is like five, it's five going on fifty,

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<v Speaker 2>and he's warm today.

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<v Speaker 1>And but what what you. Have you yet encountered the

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<v Speaker 1>part of this where your kid refuses to wear temperature

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<v Speaker 1>appropriate clothing.

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<v Speaker 3>I've only encountered the desire for naked. He's like, he

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't like go like yeah, He's like, what do I

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<v Speaker 3>need this for? No, but it's not. He doesn't like hats.

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<v Speaker 3>But I finally got him to appreciate hats. He's a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of hair, really big curly hair, and so I

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<v Speaker 3>he's cool with that.

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<v Speaker 2>He does.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I have resistance on finger gloves versus mittens. He's

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<v Speaker 3>kind of lazy, so he just wants to do the

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<v Speaker 3>mitten thing. And then I say, no, you need the

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<v Speaker 3>fingers because that allows you to, you know, climb, and no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 3>and he said, this is frustrating.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, but it's not. Just count your fingers,

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<v Speaker 2>open your hand, slide in. But no, not that.

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<v Speaker 3>And he's very proud that he does the I'm not

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<v Speaker 3>sure if you're familiar with the upside down coat flip

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<v Speaker 3>where you put your own coat on.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the greatest. That's the greatest.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember when my kids learned that in preschool and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my gosh. The people who teach

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<v Speaker 1>pre school are the world's greatest geniuses.

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<v Speaker 2>But I need to know that's will keep me up tonight.

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<v Speaker 3>I need to google when that became like a learned thing,

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<v Speaker 3>because I didn't learn to put my coat on that way.

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<v Speaker 3>We were like spinning around trying to put our arms

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<v Speaker 3>and you're falling down. And then your mom gets frustrated,

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<v Speaker 3>say just put the coat on this way. You know

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<v Speaker 3>all of that, but no, my kid to your point,

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<v Speaker 3>just as you came home, uh preschool, and he the

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<v Speaker 3>coat was on the floor and I'm like, pick your coat,

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<v Speaker 3>and I'm putting my coat on.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like what And then he flips the coat and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like what who created this this is?

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<v Speaker 3>And by the way, it is not conventional wisdom because

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<v Speaker 3>we were in Texas for Thanksgiving and he did it

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<v Speaker 3>in front of one of his cousins who's like twenty

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<v Speaker 3>and the cousin's like, wait, what what are they?

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<v Speaker 2>What is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I know exactly, it's amazing, But I would

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<v Speaker 3>love to know when that light became.

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<v Speaker 2>Who came up.

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<v Speaker 3>And the law like it was passed around every pre

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<v Speaker 3>k kid, you know, teacher and they all got the

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<v Speaker 3>memo it's amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think that you worry about the way your

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<v Speaker 1>kid is dressed because you're worried that he will be

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<v Speaker 1>hot or cold, or because you think that the like

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<v Speaker 1>his teacher will be like, oh, I can't believe he

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<v Speaker 1>Tamori Center kid without nine pairs of socks. What kind

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<v Speaker 1>of parenting is that.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's because I'm always worried that he won't

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<v Speaker 3>be prepared, you know. I mean it's so for example,

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<v Speaker 3>you know anything in life. You know, the other day

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<v Speaker 3>he said, somebody there was a scuffle in Lego Robotics,

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<v Speaker 3>and he said, you know, the kid kicked him. And

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, oh, you know, that was my first like

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<v Speaker 3>moment blah, And I said, so then we we we

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<v Speaker 3>do a rehearsal of if a kid kicks you, what

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<v Speaker 3>you do, and we go through this whole you know

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<v Speaker 3>thing of they're gonna do this, and you'll do this,

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<v Speaker 3>and you'll say this, and you'll say this, and so

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<v Speaker 3>it's it's it's I think the worry of them being

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<v Speaker 3>in the world unprepared or be and so that's what

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<v Speaker 3>it is. I don't I don't think his teacher would judge.

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<v Speaker 3>She's amazing and I've seen her also not properly warmly

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<v Speaker 3>dressed that I'm going to give her some advice on scarves.

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<v Speaker 3>But she's like thirty year old young teacher and it's

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<v Speaker 3>called liked put a scarfne.

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna get anment? What's wrong with you?

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's, to be honest with you, I think

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<v Speaker 3>it's the fear that whatever your kid faces, whether they

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<v Speaker 3>are two or twenty two or thirty two, that somehow

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<v Speaker 3>you have not prepared them for the world. Yeah, it

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<v Speaker 3>starts with weather. It starts with peer to peer interaction.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, maybe you don't get on the team or

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<v Speaker 3>your first heartbreak. I mean prior to having my son,

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<v Speaker 3>which you know I refer to myself as a late

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<v Speaker 3>to the party parents.

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<v Speaker 2>I was forty eight years old.

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<v Speaker 3>My brother and his wife have They were younger parents,

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<v Speaker 3>and a great portion of my nephew who's now twenty

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<v Speaker 3>seven and his sister's twenty two. The other is now eighteen,

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<v Speaker 3>that's fifteen, but the two older kids. A great part

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<v Speaker 3>of my journey was helping my brother and his wife

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<v Speaker 3>because they were still getting their footing and they were

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<v Speaker 3>in their early twenties when they became pregnant with their.

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<v Speaker 2>Kid and got married very young.

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<v Speaker 3>And so Isaiah, who ty seven, is like my first

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<v Speaker 3>child truly. He's first vacations with me, first being everything

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<v Speaker 3>he's ever done, calls me first about everything. And his

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<v Speaker 3>sister is the same way, but he definitely is and

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<v Speaker 3>I very much. So remember he's going to kill me

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<v Speaker 3>for this, but his very first heartbreak and he called me.

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<v Speaker 3>He was in college and he said, you know, this

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<v Speaker 3>situation happened and he was sad, and I wanted to

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<v Speaker 3>get on the plane and knock on her door and say.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's talk about this. Let's be sensible here. He's a

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<v Speaker 2>great guy. A mistake, you're making a mistake.

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<v Speaker 3>But pretty woman, A huge, a big mistake, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>I remember this is how corny I am.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember.

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<v Speaker 3>When he said to me, he's about nine or ten

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<v Speaker 3>and he said, Aunt tammern, I just want to stay

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<v Speaker 3>a kid forever. And he was just saying something and

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<v Speaker 3>it hit me in a different way, you know, because

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<v Speaker 3>when a kid says I just want to stay a

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<v Speaker 3>kid forever, You're like, yes, you do you know? Because

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<v Speaker 3>I in a flash all of the things that he

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<v Speaker 3>would face and will face, and that we all face

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, are around the corner, and it just

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<v Speaker 3>I remember sobbing, like just crying because I that that

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<v Speaker 3>response meant something so different to me than to him.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean I think it's it's so interesting and light.

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<v Speaker 1>You said you had John hight On this sort of

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<v Speaker 1>feeling of like kind of wanting wanting to give the independence,

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<v Speaker 1>Like what does it mean to prepare somebody to not

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<v Speaker 1>just not to like to prepare them for a time

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<v Speaker 1>when you won't pack their socks? You know, he's not

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<v Speaker 1>like the whole thing of parenting is like to prepare

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<v Speaker 1>your kid to remember their own socks.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and preparing your bird to fly.

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<v Speaker 3>We we have a house in like this little rural

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<v Speaker 3>area and there's this mama bird. And this sounds like

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<v Speaker 3>some kind of like a little house on the prairie story,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's true.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>She comes back every year and she lays.

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<v Speaker 3>Her eggs right in this awning that I have and

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<v Speaker 3>elsewhere three years in a row. I don't know if

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<v Speaker 3>she's the same bird or she just spread the word

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<v Speaker 3>as a safe tree are getting. She's like this lady

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<v Speaker 3>Camvert Hall has the best daycare ever.

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<v Speaker 2>Nice. This awning is amazing it's free. She doesn't close

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<v Speaker 2>the awning. I mean, like I let them hold my

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<v Speaker 2>aunting hostage. I don't open it.

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<v Speaker 3>Clothes we're like swelping in the heat, and I'm like, girl,

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<v Speaker 3>it's yours, but you know it's it's we know, like

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<v Speaker 3>the Mama bird and Mama Bear, all of these things

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<v Speaker 3>that we talk about, this protection of your offspring, and

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<v Speaker 3>it is the biggest part is preparing them.

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<v Speaker 2>And it looks different. I mean I grew up, as

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<v Speaker 2>I said, in rural Texas.

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<v Speaker 3>So I look at my son's life sometimes and well

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<v Speaker 3>he takes the bus van. Now he's so proud of him.

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<v Speaker 3>So this year he takes a van school. But he

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<v Speaker 3>was walking last year. And we live in the heart

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<v Speaker 3>of New York City. And I had this this moment

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<v Speaker 3>of crisis because the corner we walk past every day

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<v Speaker 3>happens to be a corner that is heavily populated by

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<v Speaker 3>people experiencing homelessness. I don't know if there's a shelter near,

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<v Speaker 3>but I never found out exactly why this particular corner

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<v Speaker 3>and it's just fourteenth and Fifth.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's not like a ran right in middle

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<v Speaker 2>heart of New York City.

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<v Speaker 3>This one corner and we would walk past people, and

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't know quite how to have this conversation. First,

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<v Speaker 3>he's four three or four years old, And I said,

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<v Speaker 3>God is living in New York City preparing my child

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<v Speaker 3>to be a more compassionate person or a person who

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<v Speaker 3>sees a person sleeping on the street as usual. And

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<v Speaker 3>the reason why I bring that up again is not,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, I'm on some high horse kick about oh

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<v Speaker 3>what kind of kid am I raising? But it was

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<v Speaker 3>so different from my childhood and that I would have.

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<v Speaker 3>And by the way, not just because I was born

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<v Speaker 3>in nineteen seventy. None of my you know, family members

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<v Speaker 3>see that on the regular where we live, you don't.

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<v Speaker 2>You see other.

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<v Speaker 3>Stripes and struggles of course, of course, but not that

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<v Speaker 3>particular thing. So as you're preparing your child, as we're

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<v Speaker 3>talking about, for whatever life presents, life doesn't that map

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<v Speaker 3>is not the same for all of us. But yet

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<v Speaker 3>we all have this opportunity at some point potentially to

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<v Speaker 3>encounter each other. So we come with different skill sets.

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<v Speaker 3>So I'm trying to allow him to have the skill

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<v Speaker 3>sets that I had as a child, growing up, a

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<v Speaker 3>very free child. I ran down the street at all

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<v Speaker 3>kinds of things that. I mean, my favorite memories were

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<v Speaker 3>me and my cousin like crawling under the house because

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<v Speaker 3>this cat had had a baby. We're gonna get the

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<v Speaker 3>babies and raise them as our own because we're like

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<v Speaker 3>feral as a cat.

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<v Speaker 1>Now we know where the bird story is coming.

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<v Speaker 3>My whole childho was rescuing and homeless cats and things.

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<v Speaker 3>But but now having my son and trying to give

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<v Speaker 3>him a little bit of what I had, and also

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<v Speaker 3>the skill set that he has now that he'll need

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<v Speaker 3>if he continues to live in New York. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it's all about preparing them and going back to the

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<v Speaker 3>core of what you asked.

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<v Speaker 2>The thing that kept me up was the Google thing

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<v Speaker 2>with with the coat.

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<v Speaker 3>And it might sound like watch not to put our kids,

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<v Speaker 3>but it is the fear of not having them prepared.

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<v Speaker 2>Totally.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's such a great illustration that these things

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<v Speaker 1>that seem like small fears are all kind of a

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<v Speaker 1>part of some bigger thing, which is just like it's

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<v Speaker 1>hard to parent and it's scary to try to do it,

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<v Speaker 1>to try to do it right. It is Tameron, thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for being here

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome, Thank you for having me