Proxy with Yowei Shaw

Yowei Shaw

Proxy investigates the weird, specific feelings that run our lives and world — sometimes by finding someone who gets it, sometimes by reporting from the emotions beat. Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host and senior producer of Invisibilia.

We’ll be back with new cases this fall — and we’ll be dropping a few treats in the feed this summer. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next case.

Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

If you’re new, try: Bisexual Wife Guy, Yowei Can't Speak Bro, or Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs.

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We’ll be back with new cases this fall — and we’ll be dropping a few treats in the feed this summer. Follow the show so you don’t miss the next case.

Get in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

If you’re new, try: Bisexual Wife Guy, Yowei Can't Speak Bro, or Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs.

839140

27hr 3min

Thumbnail for "Amanda and the Nonstop Narrator".

July 1, 202554min 42sec132.75 MB

Thumbnail for "Heather Knows What Happens After You Die (What's It Like To Be... with Dan Heath)".

July 14, 202641min 14sec100.4 MB

Thumbnail for "Kaitlin Lost Her Ambition (The Heart)".

July 8, 202617min 59sec44.62 MB

Thumbnail for "Taelor Doesn't Want to Have Sex".

June 30, 20261hr158.57 MB

Thumbnail for "Sam Doesn't Know How to Be Rich".

June 16, 202658min 25sec156.7 MB

Thumbnail for "Alex's Husband Is Too Straight".

June 2, 202650min 53sec123.59 MB

May 19, 202651min 51sec138.88 MB

Thumbnail for "Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs".

May 5, 202650min 4sec121.61 MB

Thumbnail for "Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head".

April 21, 20261hr 2min164.44 MB

Thumbnail for "Yowei Used to Hide Her Husband Kyle (from Love Letters)".

April 7, 202640min 21sec98.32 MB

Thumbnail for "Nicole Can't Stop Being Aggro".

December 2, 202553min 36sec130.11 MB

Thumbnail for "Bob and the Forgiveness Spell".

November 4, 202545min 39sec123.97 MB

Thumbnail for "Yaroslava Can't Go Home".

October 21, 202541min 55sec102.07 MB

Thumbnail for "The First Ever Extrovert-Introvert Cage Match".

October 7, 202544min 26sec108.1 MB

Thumbnail for "An Estrangement Mystery".

September 30, 202541min 4sec115.12 MB

Thumbnail for "JC's Kids Won't Talk To Her".

September 23, 20251hr158.96 MB

Thumbnail for "Alex and the Impossible Ask".

September 9, 202555min 59sec148.8 MB

August 26, 202531min 53sec77.96 MB

August 12, 202537min 5sec90.47 MB

Thumbnail for "Zakiya Used to Be So Fun".

July 15, 202539min 40sec96.67 MB

Thumbnail for "Brian Can't Stop Fact-checking His Mother-In-Law".

June 17, 202551min 49sec125.81 MB

Thumbnail for "Is It Time To Break Up the Band?".

June 3, 202555min 30sec141.01 MB

Thumbnail for "Aparna and the Self-Loathing Introvert".

May 20, 202541min 35sec101.26 MB

Thumbnail for "Mic Chooses the Wrong Life".

May 6, 202545min 53sec111.58 MB

April 22, 202551min 57sec126.16 MB

Thumbnail for "The Utility of Self-Delusion (and Big Show Update)".

March 19, 202517min 59sec50.06 MB

The story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google - and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did...

December 3, 202452min 27sec75.54 MB

Thumbnail for "Is there anything we can actually do about polarization?".

Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it. ...

October 29, 202441min 48sec100.33 MB

Thumbnail for "So many tears but what do they say?".

We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of , to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how...

September 26, 202424min 28sec35.24 MB

Thumbnail for "Did we make our goal???".

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. Episode credits: Produced by and Kim Nederveen Pieterse Mixed by Proxy is...

September 5, 20248min 5sec32.7 MB

Thumbnail for "The Mechanics and Magic of Ritual".

The final installment of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy converations. In this episode, Yowei talks to a ritual expert and tries explaining what she's learned about proxy conversations to her mom. From the...

August 21, 202423min 43sec56.93 MB

Thumbnail for "Psychodrama: The 2nd Oldest Psychotherapy You've Never Heard Of, But Have Definitely Tried".

Part 3 of Yowei's extremely meta quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. In this episode, Yowei learns about psychodrama, a psychotherapy that has similarities to proxy conversations and used to be a dominant modality in the...

August 15, 202439min 41sec95.24 MB

Thumbnail for "Connor Ratliff's Dead Eyes".

Part 2 of Yowei's quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Why do they work? How? Can Yowei figure out how to explain the show to people who don't get it? In this episode, Yowei gets advice from actor, comedian, and proxy...

August 6, 202436min 59sec53.26 MB

Thumbnail for "Survivor, Meet Proxy Offender".

Yowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why? How? Part 1 of a 4-part quest to solve the mystery of proxy conversations. Yowei learns about a proxy...

July 24, 20241hr146.36 MB

Thumbnail for "The Layoff Trilogy 3: HR by Proxy".

With every layoff, there's the blackbox of what's really going on behind the scenes. Why did it go down the way it did? Was it really not about your performance, like they told you? How does the layoff list get made anyway? In our inaugural...

May 23, 202446min 47sec128.82 MB

Thumbnail for "The Layoff Trilogy 2: Danger Day".

Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. ...

May 23, 202441min 24sec100.81 MB

The Layoff Trilogy 1: Layoff Girl

May 22, 202441min 14sec100.4 MB

May 15, 20241min 31sec5.1 MB

Amanda and the Nonstop Narrator

July 1, 202554min 42sec

The case of the writer whose inner narrator will not shut up.

Amanda Montell is very good at telling stories. So good, in fact, she can’t seem to stop telling them — even to herself.

Amanda has what she calls a “Storymaker” in her head: an internal narrator constantly shaping her life into scenes, arcs, jokes, metaphors, and meaning. Most of the time, it’s fun. It makes life feel cinematic. It’s useful for her writing.

But lately, Amanda has been wondering if the Storymaker is doing too much. Is she actually living her life, or narrating it from the outside?

In this episode, Yowei connects Amanda with Jonathan Adler, a psychologist who studies narrative identity. Together, they investigate inner monologues, memory, meaning-making, theater kids, and whether Amanda can negotiate a different relationship with the voice in her head.

From the episode:

— Amanda Montell — author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut, and host of the podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult — on Instagram@amanda_montell

— Jonathan Adler — personality psychologist — more about his work:www.jonathan-adler.com

X @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedIn

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for another story about trying to keep making art when the old way stops working.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — proxythepod@gmail.com